Parenting Advice I Wish I Had Ignored: Lessons Every Parent Should Know
Parenting advice is everywhere. Some of it is helpful. Some of it makes you question humanity. The worst part? You do not realize bad advice is bad until you try it.
When I became a parent, I wanted to do everything right. I read books. I listened to experienced parents. I tried their advice. And I quickly learned that not all advice is worth following. Some of it made my life harder. Some of it made no sense. Here is what I wish I had ignored.
The Worst Parenting Advice I Ever Received
Some advice sounds good. But when put into practice, it is a disaster.
1. "Sleep When the Baby Sleeps."
Sounds great. Except babies sleep in short bursts. And they wake up at the worst times. I remember one afternoon when I thought I would finally get some rest. My baby had fallen asleep. I closed my eyes. Two minutes later, the doorbell rang. Then the laundry machine beeped. By the time I settled again, my son was up, wide-eyed and ready to party. I learned that sleeping when the baby sleeps is a nice idea but not always realistic.
2. "Good Parents Never Lose Their Patience."
I tried. I failed. Kids test limits. They spill things. They ask the same question five times in a row. They scream because their socks feel "weird." I spent years thinking I had to be calm all the time. Then one day, I snapped. Not in a big way, but I raised my voice. My son looked at me, paused, and said, "You are still the best, Amma." That was the day I realized patience is important, but parents are human too.
3. "A Strict Schedule Will Solve Everything."
I wanted this to be true. I loved the idea of set nap times, meal times, and peaceful bedtimes. But my son had other plans. Some days, naps lasted five minutes. Other days, he refused to sleep at all. Meals were unpredictable. Some nights, he would eat nothing but rice. Others, he would demand food at midnight. I learned that balanced discipline was more important than rigid rules.
4. "Ignore Tantrums—Do Not Give In."
The first time I followed this advice, I was in a supermarket. My son wanted a candy bar. I said no. A full meltdown followed. He screamed. He kicked. He made sure the entire store knew he was unhappy. I stood there, ignoring him, pretending to be unaffected. An older woman walked by and whispered, "Honey, just pick him up." I did. He calmed down in seconds. I realized tantrums are not just about "winning" or "losing." They are moments of frustration. Kids need guidance, not silence. Effective communication worked better than ignoring.
5. "Make Sure Your Child is Always Happy."
An impossible task. Life is full of frustration, disappointment, and hard lessons. I once rushed to replace a broken toy before my son noticed. I wanted to avoid the tears. But the next time something broke, he lost control. That was when I realized I was not teaching happiness. I was preventing resilience. I stopped fixing everything. I started helping him deal with small disappointments instead. It worked. He learned that he could handle tough moments too. That lesson was more valuable than temporary happiness.
What Happened When I Tried to Follow This Advice
Following bad advice did not make me a better parent. It made me a stressed one.
- I felt like I was failing when things did not go perfectly.
- I wasted time trying to follow rules that did not work.
- I doubted my instincts, even when they told me what my son needed.
One day, I had enough. I stopped trying to do things "right." I started doing what worked. Parenting became easier.
The One Thing That Actually Worked Instead
The best lesson I learned? There is no single "right" way to parent.
What works for one child may not work for another. What works one day may not work the next. The key is to stop forcing advice and start paying attention to your own child.
1. Trusting My Gut.
No one knows my son like I do. No expert. No book. No random stranger at the park. When something felt wrong, I stopped doing it.
I remember when my son refused to sleep in his crib. People told me to let him "cry it out." I tried. He screamed for what felt like hours. My instincts told me to hold him. I did. He calmed down, slept peacefully, and eventually transitioned to his bed when he was ready. That was the moment I stopped listening to bad advice.
2. Embracing Imperfection.
Some days, I am patient. Some days, I am exhausted. Some days, I make homemade meals. Some days, we eat cereal for dinner. I used to feel guilty about this. Then I realized: my son does not need a perfect parent. He needs a present one. Parenting lessons come from experience, not perfection.
3. Learning My Son’s Needs Instead of Following a Rulebook.
A strict schedule? Great in theory. But in real life, kids grow, change, and challenge every plan. Tantrums? They are not just about defiance—they are emotional overload. Happiness? It is important, but so is resilience.
I also stopped stressing over things like screen time. Instead of banning it completely, I found a balanced approach. Parenting is not about controlling every detail. It is about guiding, adjusting, and making choices that fit your child.
Why Every Parent Should Trust Their Instincts Over "Perfect" Advice
Parenting is full of uncertainty. There is no universal method. No guaranteed formula. No "right" way. The more I trusted myself, the more confident I became.
- Not every expert knows best.
- Not every relative remembers what raising kids is really like.
- And not every piece of advice is worth following.
The best parenting advice?
"Take what works. Ignore the rest."
And if someone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps—just smile, nod, and make yourself a cup of coffee instead.
Want More Practical Parenting Advice?
If you found this helpful, you might enjoy my book, Upgrade Your Parenting: 7 Modern Solutions with Indian Wisdom. It is packed with real-life lessons, actionable tips, and solutions that work in today’s world.
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Parenting is a journey. It is not about perfection. It is about progress. Keep learning. Keep growing. And most of all, trust yourself.